Marriage

Marriage Counseling Will Not Produce A Healthy Marriage

admin — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 11:55:09 +0000

Isn’t it true that if you contact somebody listed as an appliance repairman to repair your washing machine, you expect them to be able to fix it? And wouldn’t it be strange if you found out people who listed themselves as appliance repairmen had a success rate of less than 10% when it came to repairing washing machines?

Well hold onto your hat!

Not only do marriage counselors have about the same rate of divorce as everyone else, but their success rate in helping other couples is typically below 10%. Worse than that, most people who go to marriage counselors end up getting a divorce within a year; their usual excuse is that these people were “destined” to get a divorce but made a last ditch effort. But that’s like a doctor who loses all of his patients to death saying they were going to die anyway; it just doesn’t cut it.

Yet marriage counselors get away with it because of the protection they get from their professional organizations; the whole thing is very disturbing. It is most disturbing to me because of the number of children impacted by divorce.

Isn’t a 50 to 60% divorce rate extremely high by any standard?

Marriage is Spiritual by Nature, Not Psychological

The reason marriage counseling will not produce a healthy marriage is because marriage counseling is an attempt at treating people’s psychological difficulties instead of addressing the innate structural problems within the marriage. A psychologist wrongly believes the partners need to be psychologically fully functional, and that is just plain wrong.

God invented marriage and knows very well that we’re not perfect. He created marriage so we would have a safe haven in this chaotic world. He didn’t create marriage in order for us to have more focused suffering. But if we approach marriage psychologically instead of spiritually we completely miss the points for which marriage was intended and we will inevitably suffer a great deal.

The way to a healthy marriage is through learning the fundamental spiritual principles that define marriage as well as the behaviors that are conducive and beneficial.

The Spiritual Principles that Define Marriage are Simple

Many couples spend six, eight or even more months trying to improve their marriage through regular marriage counseling and therapy. I met with many such couples who came to see me because in spite of all of their effort their marriage was not progressing. Typically within 20 minutes these couples were gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, holding hands and reaffirming the love that initially brought them together.

Not one couple I met with needed more than six hours to create a solid foundation for their newfound marriage. The simplicity of spiritual principles is overwhelming in their purity. They are easy to understand and easy to utilize.

Never give up hope. Stop banging your heads against the wall. When your effort is made in the right direction the results come quickly. If your efforts are unimaginably intense but aimed in the wrong direction you will never succeed. Learn and follow the fundamental spiritual principles that create and guide a healthy marriage so you can know the promised joy.

By: Paul Friedman

About the Author:

I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage to help people save their troubled marriage and end the marriage crisis in our country; it’s about saving children. Let’s stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life’s mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you’re married, tell your soul mate, “I love you.”

Marriage License

admin — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:49:57 +0000

You have made the good choice! Reading this article will surely be a benefit to you, hope that you will enjoy it as much as we have enjoyed writing it for you.

For those about to be wed, a marriage license is a requirement for couples living all around the world. A marriage license is used by local governments to cover fees associated with filing documentation and performing legal name changes. They are also done to protect the couples in many states, as blood testing and DNA screening is required in order to secure your license.

If you are in need of a marriage license, it is important to keep a few things in mind. First, there is usually a delay between when you acquire your license and when you can have your wedding. Plan in advance! In some areas, it can take over six months to acquire your license. In others, the delay is only a matter of a few minutes or hours. Las Vegas is a good example of a place with a very short delay in acquiring your marriage license and being able to tie the knot with your partner. Click Here

A marriage license serves as proof that you are in a relationship with someone. This has many legal ramifications. As such, it is vital that you keep this document safe. While it is usually easy to acquire another copy of the license, you may be called on at any time to provide this documentation. If you are immigrating to another country, or if you want to take spousal credits on your taxes, this document can be the difference between success and failure.

When you obtain your marriage license, you will be asked several questions. At the very least, you will need to provide information on your future husband or wife, yourself, where you both live and note whether or not there is any relations between you. Many states and regions do not permit cousins of certain degrees to be wed. This is to prevent siblings and closer relatives to become married.

Many regions will require that you and your future partner show in person together to acquire the marriage license. This is so that you can

both take an oath that all of the information that you are providing is accurate. As you can get many tax benefits from marriage, governments try to take steps to ensure that you are eligible to be wed. Click Here

If you are planning to be wed in a foreign country, it is vital that you acquire all of the required visas and marriage license well in advance. As many countries have extremely strict rulings on marriage, you want to make sure that you have everything you need covered before you board your plane. If you are planning on having a foreign or exotic wedding, you may want to hire a wedding planner to ensure everything that you need is covered.

Learn something? Want to learn something more? Check out our other articles your bound to learn something new every article.

By: Alfred Ngoasheng

About the Author:

For those about to be wed, a marriage license is a….go to : http://www.marriageviews.info/Marriage-License.php

Marriage License Online

admin — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 20:50:58 +0000

I would like to cover every aspect of this topic. In order to keep things short I have only included the major topics detailed as good as possible.

Getting a marriage license online is only available to those who have already registered for their license in court and need a substitution copy. This is only available in certain regions, as there are rigid rules on who can acquire a marriage license in many States and Provinces. As your marriage license is an important, identifying document, being able to order them online is exceedingly convenient. Click Here

When you go to purchase a marriage license online, it is important to remember that this is a transcript of the fully executed certificate. There are very few instances where you get acquire the document that allows you to wed somebody on the internet. This is due to the fact that wedding allows you tax benefits, as well as other benefits. Due to the legal ramifications of marriage, States and Provinces do not permit the authorizing documents to be purchased online.

There are several pieces of info that you will need to order a marriage license online. The information required is dependent on which State of Province that you are acquiring a license from. However, you can normally expect to need the type of certificate you want ordered, the applicant’s name, telephone number, date of issue or marriage date, as well as an order or file number if applicable. If you cannot provide all of this information, you will not be able to place an order for your certificate online.

If you are having trouble ordering a marriage license online, there are other ways that you can acquire your documents. You can appear in the county court and request a copy, as well as asking a copy by phone or mail. You will still need to know as much of the required information as you can, as this is what is required to locate the document.

If you are missing information, ordering a marriage license online will be impossible. In fact, trailing down your marriage certificate will be intriguing even using other venues. If you are searching for a relatives’ certificate, for example, you may need to surf through public archives. These can be grouped by name, by date and by location, which can make finding the certificate you need difficult. Click Here

If you do not need a legal copy of your marriage certificate, you may be able to order a marriage license online by doing a genealogy check on yourself and your family. As marriage certificates are commonly used to reference the family tree, basic information on certificates tend to be stored so they can search relatives.

Well that’s all I have for you here I hope the information was of good use.

By: Alfred Ngoasheng

About the Author:

Acquiring a marriage license online is only available to those who have already registered for their license in court and need a replacement copy. Please go to: http://www.marriageviews.info/Marriage-License-Online.php

Saving Your Marriage is All Up to You !

admin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:48:55 +0000

In today’s world there are so many marriages that are on the rocks. They are in turmoil and ending up in a messy divorce. So you may ask how can you save this marriage. If your marriage has hit the pushing limits a divorce may not be the answer. Too many couples lack the fortitude to work on a solution but instead feel it’s easier to just let go. There are many solutions that can be worked on to save a marriage, but they must have the commitment of both partners. Counseling should be the first step in saving a marriage. This puts another person with an unbiased opinion into the picture to help straighten out the problems.

There are also other things that can be done outside any professional help to help save the marriage. They are not difficult and only require that both partners work towards the common goal of fixing the marriage. The following advice if utilized and taken to heart will improve your odds of “saving the marriage”.

It is very possible to “Save Your Marriage” if you understand that the perfect marriage is a myth. There will always be some kinds of problems whenever you bring two people together. This is only human nature. Identical twins will even differ in likes and dislikes. The trick is to learn to deal with the rough patches and be able to handle the problems that occur. It will only destroy the marriage if you seek to make it perfect. Work with your partner to overcome problems, we all make mistakes, and possibly you will be on your way to “saving your marriage”.

Secondly, there must be communication between both parties. This is vital in a marriage because without good communication a marriage is doomed. Honesty between both partners is the essence of a good marriage. Most all problems can be resolved when both partners communicate with each other.

Compromise then becomes the next tip in “saving your marriage”. World leaders must compromise to make things work. What makes you think that things must always go your way? Marriage is a compromise between two people who love each other. When things get better and you are both loving each other you will want to do everything your partner wants.

When your car stalls or you get a flat tire, you don’t just discard the car and get a new one. You get it fixed and back in running order. This is the same for your marriage. Both you and your partner need to have a commitment to the marriage. You need to work towards “saving your marriage” and commitment is an important step.

Divorce is the only answer if a marriage has so much damage that nothing can help. There are some issues that can’t be resolved even by counseling. In these cases divorce is inevitable. You should work with your partner to resolve issues before they get to a point of no return. If you work hard at issues that plague your marriage you will be able to work out “saving your marriage”

By: Frank T Renner

About the Author:

Most relationships CAN be salvaged. You may find this hard to believe, especially at this time, but believe me many relationships have been salvaged. Couples reunite every day regardless of the situation. Join me in learning The Magic Of Making Up!

Same Sex Public Marriage Records

admin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:22:17 +0000

“Marriages are made in heaven” goes the old saying, however some marriages are deemed to be made in hell by society and the majority is unwilling to give their consent to such marriages.

Gay marriage or marriage between the same sexes is sneered upon by many and the US government has reservation to grant legal recognition to such marriage. Though public marriage records of such unions have been found in Connecticut and Massachusetts where it is not considered to be illegal, the Federal government is sternly against such practice.

This has been a controversial political issue for long time and many powerful politicians are against such practices. It is widely believed that same sex marriage can contribute to a staggering rise in AIDS, be emotionally excruciating for children whose parents are involved and could make way for a next social movement for legalization of polygamy or incest.

Some say this is very much against nature and could be detrimental for mankind. The kind of commitment, love and responsibility that is expected in normal marriage is not believed to be there by society in same sex marriage between people. It is believed to be an outlet for base, carnal desires that gives rise to endless misery and pain.

Homosexuality is said to have its root in ancient India and examples are galore. Sculptures and scriptures talk a lot about sexuality between similar gender and such behavior was considered to evoke great sexual pleasure. There are references in The Kamasutra and lesbianism is depicted in unabashedly as a wellspring of sensory pleasure and enjoyment.

With time the situation changed and there are references of society becoming intolerant of such behavior and contriving capital punishment for such behavior, especially in the era of Vedic Brhamanism and during British colonization.

Public marriage records are there in modern India where marriage has taken place between people of same sex. Constitution confers the right to every individual according his/her wish and nobody can intervene. There has been a lot of movement to get same sex marriages legalized throughout the world and human rights association has extended support for the cause.

There is a body called GLAD in England (gay and lesbians’ advocates and defenders) which has successfully completed its 30 years, championing similar sex marriage and protecting people from discrimination.

There are successful marriage records of people who are content with similar sex marriage and since Connecticut made it legal such marriages have come up big way. GLAD conducts workshops for couple willing to go for such marriage and mentors them as to how to make a meaningful, long lasting relationship.

To summarize, the message is clear, the modern world is much more tolerant and ready to empathize with people whose interest may seem a little off beat from the rest of the pack but who definitely belong to a much larger fraternity, who belong to our own human race.

Where same sex marriages are permitted, it would be interesting to examine, in the future, how the divorce records for such marriages fare compared to traditional marriages which currently have a divorce rate of about 50% in the US.

By: Mike K

About the Author:

Marriage Counseling: Is It Time You Went To See Someone?

admin — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 11:37:02 +0000

With over half of all marriages in the U.S. ending in divorce, the institution of marriage is in trouble. Marriage is something special-and something that has been part of all human society since the beginning of time, bolstering claims that marriage is an institution generated by God.

The idea of marriage counseling was established as an accepted practice in the 1950s. The primary goal of marriage counseling is to maintain an unwavering married life for couples. These counselors believe that it is not right for a married couple to abandon their vows and forget the love that once had bound them together just because of some human weaknesses.

However, not all professionals agree that marriage counseling gives lasting benefits and promotes change in individuals. In spite of its many advantages, some people still find some fault with this kind of psychological strategy.

Counseling and Your Marriage-The Pros:

. Marriage counseling helps you know you are not alone. Some couples, especially those who do not like “burdening” their friends and family with their problems, tend to think that they are the only couple who is experiencing their problem. After speaking with a marriage counselor, these couples can realize that they are not the only ones with an unhappy marriage, and can more readily deal with the problem.

. Marriage therapy can assist spouses to understand each other better. If spouses are working toward the same goal in two totally different ways, it can cause friction. Therapy with a trained consellor can be a good place to work out these personality quirks in a safe environment.

The Disadvantages of Marriage Therapy:

. Some couples tend to depend on marriage counseling. There are many instances where people do not exert any effort to resolve their problems on their own because they know that there is a marriage counselor that they can turn to.

. Sometimes, one partner wants the marriage to work and the other doesn’t. When one partner does not want to work on the problems, it can mean the death of the marriage. At that point, no amount of counseling will work, and the partner who wants to make the marriage work gets frustrated and angry.

Marriage is all about compromise. Compromise is hard. With or without marriage counseling, married couples should learn to solve their problems. Counseling can be a place to learn these skills, but should never be the only thing used to save a shaky marriage.

By: Jill Brennan

About the Author:

If you’re tired of being in an unhappy marriage and want to find out how you can turn your love life around then visit: www.lovesexmarriage101.com for some practical love help and advice.

Understanding Marriage Counseling

admin — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 09:56:28 +0000

Marriage counseling gives people a chance to work out issues with their partners whether it be their boyfriend or girlfriend or their spouse. This process is also referred to as couples counseling. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to improve their relationship and to learn how to better relate to one another.

Marriage counseling should be done by a licensed counselor who has a certification in marriage and family counseling. These counselors do pretty much the same as any other counselor but they focus on helping couples.

In most cases, couples only need to meet with a marriage counselor a few times to work out their problems. Couples who are having more severe problems can attend marriage counseling for several months, though. Marriage counseling usually occurs on a weekly basis.

Marriage Counseling Can Help Everyone

All couples have issues that they need to work through. Each person has different beliefs, ambitions, values and wants different things from their lives and this can cause conflict. If you learn how to work together, though, there does not have to be conflict because of your differences. Couples can learn to appreciate their partner’s unique views and ways of looking at things and this can actually strengthen your relationship.

At times, though, the things that make you and your partner unique can cause problems. The habits and quirks that you found cute in the beginning of the relationship can start to drive you crazy. Relationships can start to suffer if there is a traumatic event such as one partner cheating on the other. The relationship may also suffer if the couple starts to drift apart and starts to fell like they aren’t connected anymore.

Regardless of what the reason for the problems in your marriage, it is very stressful and upsetting to be dealing with them every day. A lot of people ignore their problems and think they will just get better over time. The truth is the problems will probably get worse over time and cause more distress and even depression. The people around you can feel the tension when you are having marriage problems and you can even have trouble focusing at work because of the problems.

Marriage counseling can help couples overcome a variety of problems including the following:

A partner who has had an affair

Talk of divorce

Drug or alcohol abuse

Dealing with physical or mental illness

Gay and lesbian issues

Cultural differences

Money issues

Loss of a job

Step family issues

Trouble communicating

Issues with your sex life

Different opinions on raising children

Infertility issues

Anger management

Major life changes like retirement

Marriage Counseling and Domestic Violence

In some cases, marriage counseling can be helpful for couples dealing with domestic violence issues. If the violence has gotten to the point where you are afraid that you or your children will be seriously hurt you should seek help from the police or an organization dealing with domestic violence like a shelter. Marriage counseling by itself may not be enough to help in a relationship with domestic violence issues.

Marriage Counseling to Avoid Problems

Not all couples who enter marriage counseling do so because they have issues that need to be dealt with. Sometimes marriage counseling is used to strengthen a relationship and help prevent issues from arising in the future. Marriage counseling can also help couples deal with issues before they even get married. Going to marriage counseling before getting married helps couples figure out how to work through the differences that are bound to arise in their marriage.

What Happens in Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling gets both people in a relationship in the same room to talk with the counselor. The counselor attempts to help the couple understand what is causing their problems and work on ways to better deal with the problems. Both the people in the relationship get to share their views of what is going on, both good and bad, in the relationship.

Through marriage counseling, couples will learn how to work together. The counselor will teach the couple communication skills and help them learn how to disagree in a healthy way. If there are serious issues causing the problems in the marriage like drug or alcohol abuse or mental illness than other specialists might be brought in to help resolve those issues.

Talking about your problems and issues in marriage counseling is sometimes difficult. You and your partner may find yourselves sitting quietly and refusing to speak to each other because you are so angry. Or you may find yourselves having a huge argument right there in the counselor’s office. The marriage counselor is there to intervene and help you calmly discuss issues without implying that either of you are right or wrong.

Marriage counseling can make a difference in your marriage in a very short time. In some cases, though, marriage counseling may make you and your partner realize that you really do not belong together.

If your spouse or partner won’t consider going to marriage counseling you should think about going alone. Obviously, marriage counseling is more effective if both partners attend but if you go alone you can learn how you can make a difference in the marriage by changing some of your behaviors and thought patterns.

The decision to attend marriage counseling is not usually an easy one but it is well worth the effort. Marriage counseling is a much better way to deal with issues in your marriage than hoping they go away on their own.

By: Alex Smoke

About the Author:

Alex Smoke aka eudj
http://androfactor.com/
http://androfactor.com/marriage/understanding-marriage-counseling.html

Breaking Relationships - Why Do Marriages Fail?

admin — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 09:05:36 +0000

Almost half of the marriages fail out of which a major chunk don’t even make it past the first year. Understanding the cause can really help a lot of marriages. Some of the reasons which lead marriages in divorce are lack of proper communication, issues of finances or in some cases the circumstance in which the marriage took place. These issues can be found in any marriage however the essence lies in how these problems are tackles as in otherwise it can lead to a failure in the wedlock.

Communication is necessary for any relationship not only marriage to thrive. Without proper communication the couple individually do not even come to know that the other partner has a problem let alone talking a solution out for it. Communication is not only essential for facing problems but also to feed the relationship. Only through effective communication can the partners have a chance to share passions, hopes, ambitions, etc apart from a healthy manner of resolving their issues. Without effective communication a marriage is definite to end in a failure.

Love may be all it takes for people to whole heartedly marry however it takes something called money also to keep a marriage alive. While financial strains by themselves may not be the direct reason for a failed marriage, the tension coming from these financial high-lows are more than enough to land a marriage in rough waters and in a lot of cases, failure. What happens more often than not is that one partner becomes picky about the financial affairs within the marriage which can be detrimental to marriages.

Not only that but also situations prevailing and the milieu around the marriage can cause failure. A marriage of convenience is more often than not one that has a failure at its end. When there is the decision to marry out of reasons other than the fact that there is love between the two, the marriage is hard to fair well. Some classic examples of the above mentioned situation prevail when the decision to marry is made because of expecting a baby by accident or pressure from friends and family, etc. None of these reasons are good enough reasons for wedlock and there is a very strong possibility of failure in the marriage. When a marriage is made without love in the hearts of the partners the marriage is doomed even before it’s begun. Marriage at a very young age is yet another reason for failure being the result. In many cases there is a lot of resentfulness in the partners because of marrying in at a very young age and not having the opportunity to enjoy life.

The fact that nowadays the society at large does not give that much importance to marriage as it used to or as it should is disheartening. Today it is just another way of life for partners to live in together and also have children without getting married at all. This undermining concept understated the very sanctity of marriage and hence results in a very high level of failed marriages.

A goodish amount of marriages today are doomed to fail even before they start. Gone are the days when marriage was viewed as a necessary step in a relationship. Hence the couples today are quick to divorce without giving it the amount of thought required to resolve issues.

Lack of communication, financial difficulties, circumstances in which the marriage was given a go-ahead are all thriving problems that do cause many a marriage to fail.

By: Abhishek Agarwal

About the Author:

Abhishek has got some great Dating Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 96 Pages Ebook, “How To Date The Hottest Women…Online And Offline!” from his website http://www.Dating-Tricks.com/139/index.htm . Only limited Free Copies available.

Attending Marriage Counseling Sessions Can Save Your Marriage

admin — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:44:58 +0000

Normally when you just got married, everything seemed beautiful. You thought that you have found a perfect person whom you can live with forever. You felt that you were really lucky to find somebody like your spouse. Your love was burning bright and leaving your spouse was something that never crossed your mind.

After you married for some time, things started to change. You learned that marriage is not always beautiful. Some arguments have arisen and some rough patches have appeared on your marriage road. However, you still thought and the condition was ok. Some small arguments would not affect your marriage because you still loved your spouse.

Fast forward to the present time, you realize that those arguments do not disappear. In fact the frequency has increased steadily. You argue with your spouse because of every small unimportant thing. It seems that the two of you cannot stand each other anymore and the word divorce has been uttered in some heated discussions. This situation is unfortunately not uncommon. Nowadays divorce rate has kept increasing and it has reached an all time high. In this situation, you should never give up on your marriage easily. Try to attend marriage counseling sessions. They can help you to save your marriage and you may find your first love again that has encouraged you to get married.

Commitment is important

Marriage counseling can play an important role to save your marriage. However, it needs a commitment from both husband and wife. If you are the only one who attends the sessions, it can make the situation worse. You try to talk your spouse about what you have learnt and he or she will act defensively. As a result, another serious fight is looming and will stretch your marriage into its limit. You will get opposite result from the marriage counseling. Therefore, if you want marriage counseling sessions to bring positive results, both couples have to be committed and attend the sessions together.

Is marriage counseling necessary?

Some people do not understand how marriage counseling works. They do not know how it can improve their marriage situation and rekindle their first love again. Perhaps you also feel the same and you think that a divorce is the only feasible option for you. In some cases, this is true because not every marriage works.

However, you should not give up your marriage without a fight and attending marriage counseling sessions is one thing that you can do to save your marriage. A counselor will help you along the way to resolve your differences. The counselor will observe the matter from an unbiased perspective so he or she can find the real problems that have threatened your marriage. You will work together to tackle those problems and heal the wounds that they have caused. It takes time, but if you and your spouse stay committed, your marriage can definitely be saved.

By: Cindy Heller

About the Author:

Cindy Heller is a professional writer. To learn how to save your marriage, please visit ways to save a marriage.

Christian Marriage Counseling is the Way to Save a Couples Marriage

admin — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:01:55 +0000

Marriages are said to be made in heaven but there are times when these marriages need help. There is any number of marriage counselors who can help couples find ways to save their marriage. For Christian couples seeking help from Christian marriage counseling is way to save their marriage. These counselors have not just the experience of saving marriages but they have faith in the word of God.

For these Christian marriage counseling advisors the reality of marriage is one that is faced daily. They see many couples who start out with high hopes seeking help as their marriages dissolve around them. The counselors whose help is sought will try to help the couples but the couples are the only ones who can make a marriage work.

In Christian marriage counseling, the couples are advised to face the fact that they are two people who are living together. For this reason they need to work together to make their marriage work. One of the cornerstones of making their marriage work is to see how the Bible describes married life.

From these verses the couples will see exactly what marriage is termed as and what their responsibilities to the marriage are. The Christian marriage counseling will help the couple talk about the problems in their lives and find ways to resolve these problems. One of the facts that could be discussed is how each person in the marriage regards the other.

Once a few of the problems have been talked about the counselor will be able to advise you what steps you might want to take. You will be told that these steps are just the beginning suggestions. From these suggestions you will have the chance of seeing what else you can do to reopen your marriage. You will of course be advised to talk with each other.

By talking you will be able to see the viewpoint of your partner. This is an important aspect that can work. In your Christian marriage counseling you will also be advised to try social activities where you work with others. Sometimes working on projects at your church can help as you are closer to God. At other times talking with other people will bring your life into perspective.

While a divorce is not advocated in a Christian marriage it is becoming a reality. To help mend the cracks there is always trained professionals. From the advice you receive you have many avenues open to saving your marriage. Christian marriage counseling can help open the doors for a new beginning for your marriage.

By: Muna wa Wanjiru

About the Author:

Muna wa Wanjiru is a web administrator and has been researching and reporting on internet marketing for years. For more information on Christian marriage counseling, visit his site at Christian Marriage Counseling